I jumped suddenly as my bare feet hit the hot wooden porch, spilling a touch of my coffee. I was lifting my feet up fast, on and off, making my way to the carpet under the couch so my feet could cool down on this hot Sunday morning. The sun is burning hot, the sky is warm, the air is muggy, and I’m ready to find a cooler spot to spend my summer. Though I love Texas, it takes a special breed to live in the about-100-degree temps that will soon make up every summer day. Hopefully, by next week I’ll be sitting on the lakefront screened porch, listening to the loons proclaim their territory.
My Texas friends think I’m a wimp for escaping the intense heat, which they say builds character and strength. But, like most, I’ve spent a lifetime building character.
Beyond Our Control
There is no doubt, though, that adversity, challenge, and difficult times make us all stronger. Nothing good would ever happen to us if every moment were smooth sailing. Many of us would not be where we are without being forced into circumstances beyond our control. And some of us, probably very few, intentionally put ourselves in uncomfortable situations so we can look forward to difficult challenges, knowing growth waits on the other side.
My Biggest Fears
My palms were sweating as I looked around the room in the Denny’s on the corner of Oakland Park Boulevard in Fort Lauderdale. I was there because someone had suggested I join Toastmasters because I was so shy and unable to speak in public. This was, in my opinion at the time, putting myself in harm’s way. You know how people fear public speaking more than death? That was me.
Why Me?
At Toastmasters, we were each told to stand up, introduce ourselves, say something about what we did, talk for two minutes, and sit down. Not a hard task, but when I saw a hundred other people there, I froze up. It was, it seemed, the worst day of my life. Why did I put myself in this position? I seriously thought about going home, but I knew if I did not face up to the challenge, I’d never conquer this fear of speaking.
When my turn came, I looked down at the floor, spoke so softly I was asked to speak up, and I was in and out of there in less than a minute. When I sat down, I realized my shirt was wet with sweat.
The next time, a couple of weeks later, required a longer talk, and then longer again the next time. And each time got a little easier, and I was a little less fearful.
How is it that I can speak today in front of audiences of thousands, that I can do crazy things on stage, be silly, have fun, and come across as the most confident person in the room?
Driven by Passion
There was something very satisfying about beating my fears, but the need to beat them came from knowing that if I did not beat them, I’d never play the role I needed to play in my career. I knew speaking was a critical skill I would need, and it was my passion, my desire, and a sense of purpose that drove me to risk looking like a fool in front of others.
What about you? Is there a fear you’ve conquered?
Or is there a fear you feel you need to conquer?
One of the most satisfying parts of my life is watching people overcome great fears because they know their dreams won’t be realized unless they do.
Putting yourself out there is not always about overcoming your fears. It can also mean forcing accountability.
Cortez famously burned his own ships as he invaded an island because he knew that his men might not try as hard if they had the option to retreat.
Going Public
The way I burn the ships is to announce my intentions in public. The fear of embarrassment or looking bad usually results in my accomplishing my goal. That’s why I always recommend sharing your goals with others. Once you’ve stated them and others know, you’re more obligated.
All of this is rooted in overcoming discomfort. And discomfort is the entryway to massive success. So why do we shun discomfort instead of embracing it?
John F. Kennedy declared he was going to put a man on the moon. Quietly, he told his close confidants that he had no idea how he would get it done — after all, it was impossible. But he stated it into action by making himself accountable to the American people. His bold, audacious claim had to come true, and it empowered people to want to make it come true.
What Leaders Do
According to author Dan Sullivan, “Great leaders take risks with their reputations for the sake of moving ahead with a big, sometimes seemingly impossible, goal. Their vision and innovation spur them forward when they don’t yet have the capability to make these ambitions a reality.
Doing this takes courage. And being willing to go through periods of courage is essential to both entrepreneurship and leadership.”
He goes on to say, “Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s being afraid, acknowledging your fear, and pushing ahead toward your goal anyway, knowing that along the way, you’ll gain the necessary.”
Of course Roosevelt told us we have nothing to fear but fear itself.
Sometimes we “jump in” and make a commitment because we know something needs to be done and there is no one else who will do it. Rising to the occasion is often the gutsy move, facing fear that turns us into leaders or people who accomplish great things.
Where do you need to just jump in?
What ships do you need to burn behind you?
What do you need to declare, exposing yourself to the world, in order to make something happen?
Becoming Extraordinary
Ordinary men and women become extraordinary by facing their fears and having the courage to step out and declare their big bold move. They may be shaking inside, but it’s their desire, their passion, and their need to accomplish something important that let them overcome the demons of fear.
Sure, there are limitations and roadblocks. So what?
When passion drives your courage and puts you face to face with your biggest fears, you take on a new level of strength and are able to overcome all obstacles.
There is something burning inside you. Something you always wanted to do, but you’ve been telling yourself a story about why it’s not possible. Take a deep breath, muster up your courage, and face your fear. You’ll thank me later.
Eric Rhoads
PS: A little more than a year ago when the COVID lockdowns began, I was very afraid I could no longer feed my family or pay college tuition, and I feared having to ruin the lives of the wonderful people I employ. I wanted to curl up in the fetal position, but I knew that facing my biggest fear yet would help me find the courage to get through all of this.
I watched cancellations for our live events come in at record speed, I watched advertising cancellations unlike any I’d seen before. I was convinced my business was at risk. Thankfully, our pivot to create a global online art conference saved us. Though it did not replace all the lost revenue, it kept us alive.
And it helped us discover a new tool for learning, one that allowed people to attend a conference they could never have attended in person. It changed the art world forever.
Things are not back to normal, and survival is still on our lips. Hopefully, our next virtual online conference, Pastel Live, will excite people about pastel painting, and make everyone better painters (and teach beginners too). It’s going to be a lot of fun, and tomorrow, Monday, is the deadline to get a seat before the big price increase. It’s got a 100% money-back guarantee … if you don’t love it, we refund your money. It’s how we do things.
If one of your fears is painting, face it … join us for Pastel Live.
I can identify with your fear of speaking years ago. Forty plus years ago when I lived in Houston, I was asked to give a painting demo with a live model. The thought of speaking in front of 350 business women terrified me. I was use to giving demo to my class of a few students, but this was different. I psyched myself up by telling myself that, although they were professional women, I knew something they didn’t. It worked, the demo came off great!
We have nothing to fear but fear itself, that is so right
I enjoy your Sunday coffee so much. Thank you for your motivation and encouragement. I listen to your podcasts every morning as I am on my walk. Keep the good news coming!
This article Blessed me tremendously to muster up the Courage to face my fears and to continue to keep striving forward in writing and publishing my first book which is A Memoir of my life.
Thanks for being such an exuberant, very inspirational, artistic, and creative Role Model individual!!!
Thanks,
Farraday Williams
Facing my Fears….
I was teaching Botanical Illustration and Exploring Watercolor through our local community college. My supervisor called to ask me to take on the Beginning Oil Painting class as he had used up all his resources and had no one else to ask.
I thought… well this is Nuts!!!! Doesn’t he realize there is a huge difference between watercolor painting and oil painting???? I don’t know a thing about oil painting!
And he went on to tell me that the students (older adults) were begging for the class to continue. He said some of them had been taking the class for 15+ years.
That made me think… “Even more of a reason for me not to teach this class!”
He gave me 3 hours to consider it before he was going to cancel the class.
That of course ripped at my heart, and I heard a voice tell me… “Cathy your can teach anything”…. Really? I thought to myself?….
And now I teach an oil painting class…. CRAZY!…and try to catch up to my students!
I enjoy the encouraging stories and quotes. Encourages some of us to step up when we might rather not.
I also enjoy the watercolour newsletter and the beautiful paintings.
This year my goal is to put more energetic strokes into my works.
Discovering Dawn Emerson’s pastel works were a game changer. I hadn’t done much with pastels but loved them for the seamless blending.
Dawn’s works were the most energetic I had ever seen so I decided I had to tell you she is the most exciting person working out there today in my opinion. I love all media so can’t choose and am not great at any one. Science by training so I love to experiment.
You must check her out and I’ll bet you will be sorry she is not listed in the Pastel Live line up. No criticism of the others but she is a new ballgame.
I am a printmaker as well as a painter and she includes that as well. Such a unique combination. Have bought her book.
Maybe printmaking next year?
This really is for you Eric but post it if you choose.
Well done Eric,
You always inspiring million not just artists but many as well…
Because many reason, I never were able to go to any of your conventions…Since Covid, I have been in all your conventions Live, loved it and will continue loving them. Thank you for doing it….Love the Streamline Video as well.
Mitzi Lai
Eric,
I really enjoy reading your Sunday Coffee time chats. I feel as if it is you and me alone on the deck hot to the touch our feet, I’ve done that many times on our deck so I can relate.
May you be blessed and your family as you inspire many with your insightful and kind words of encouragement.
Well done Eric,
You always inspiring million not just artists but many as well…
Because many reason, I never were able to go to any of your conventions…Since Covid, I have been in all your conventions Live, loved it and will continue loving them. Thank you for doing it….
Mitzi Lai
Your extension to us of free art videos during 2020 kept me going and engaged every day. A big THANK YOU.
Eric, the definition of a leader, your discussion of leadership, is half right. Leadership is not always about doing great things. More importantly, it is developing and strengthening those we work with, those we care about, to do great things. I worked in the corporate world, until I could retire to do what I love. I was a leader, a director, a developer, and an auditor. I was a successful business woman. My successes were in how well my employees did. Obviously, because I am reading your Sunday chats, you do that for your artists.
As artists, I have come to understand, that our calling is not just about completing a great masterpiece, or documenting the world around us for posterity but, by sharing our skills and knowledge base, to develop aspiring artists and build their confidence. As a good but not great artist, I teach to support my business. I don’t like it because it steals from my painting time, but I am apparently pretty good at it. I groan and moan, and drag myself to classes and come home exhilarated. My students, learn and grow. They leave my classes smiling, ready to conquer their fears and finish their masterpiece. That’s the best way to be a leader.
Carol, it sounds like you do a great job of bringing others along. So does Eric! Truly, he hits on all the bases and is outstanding in every regard that you mention. Good for both of you!!
Your Sunday Coffee was so timely for me . I joined a new group of painters SoCal-PAPA and signed up to exhibit in a show. I’ve been considering dropping out because I’m not sure if I’m good enough, but I will definitely be there.
Thanks for the encouragement. God is our rock and He blesses us.
I love the Sunday Coffee. It is a quiet reflection and then a gentle shove to get me started on the next week. Thank you so much. God Bless you.